The Great Sojourn — theNOSTOMANIAC.com

59 - Mishap & Maninjau (Sumatra, Indonesia)

I took my time. I lingered. No rush. No agenda. A photo here. A vacant look across the lake there. Got lost in my head. (It’s a jungle up there.) Such a worthy pursuit, no? An anomaly garnered my attention, one I had to verify with close inspection. I passed a man on a motorbike with two large baskets filled with coconuts attached saddlebag-style. And on the back seat betwixt the baskets was his partner: a monkey. It wasn’t just the fact he appeared to be delivering coconuts with a primate shackled to his motorbike. It was the juxtaposition of their task and the stoic, borderline angry expressions held by each. Not sure if man mimicked the monkey or vice versa. These two were dead fucking serious.

This was too much. I needed a snapshot for posterity. Who knew when or where …

Indonesia 2, Batch 11by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Sumatra, Lake Maninjau

60 - Low Calorie Acid Trip (Bukittinggi, Sumatra, Indonesia)

And yet, I was drawn to his mysterious nature and reciprocal curiosity. Wanna see a tiger, you say? Well, he knew a guy. Of course he did. Not just any guy, but a tiger whisperer, if you will… or would. For the right price and a fair amount of patience, we might succeed in “summoning” a striped crusader. This tiger “shaman” (my word, not his) lived just outside the town’s center. According to Pria, Mr. Whisperer, with the aid of a spirit man, had the power to compel tiger attendance. Difference between his guy and a spirit man? Dunno. Shit got confusing and stayed there well before the actual meeting. If the spirit guide was the one doing the calling, then what was the purpose of the man we were going to meet?

Batch 11, Indonesia 2by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Bukittinggi, Turret Cafe, vespa, Sumatra

61 - U.F.G - Unidentified Flying Goofball (Lake Toba, Sumatra, Indonesia)

So, I sold the fucker. I sold it for less than half of what I paid, but this was better than the alternative. I thought for sure I’d be handing the keys to some lucky bastard in Medan with instructions to “Live long and prosper.” Profits be damned. I was willing to take what I could get. While waiting for a ferry from Parapat to Tuk Tuk (Samosir Island), I struck up a conversation with a local man. I mentioned offhand I’d hoped to sell the Phantom before I left Medan. I quoted a price. He disappeared ninja-style. Much to my astonishment, he returned shortly after with the rough equivalent of a thousand dollars (US). He smelled a deal. He smelled right. I suspect he was as excited as I was when I first bought it. He had that “kid in the candy store…

Batch 11, Indonesia 2by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Sumatra, Lake Toba, Danau Toba, Batak

62 - Ratna’s Place (Danau Toba, Sumatra, Indonesia)

Upon return, she recieved me with a smile and a cup of tea. Soon after, we went for a stroll in the hills behind her village. Ratna was one of twelve children; her father a Batak king whose jurisdiction stretched to adjacent villages and up the mountain. He died when she was four (she was forty at the time) and unfortunately, didn’t pass on a king’s ransom. I guess the crown wasn’t what it used to be by his reign (more of a leadership/advisory role, I deduced). Power without glory. Her father married twice, Ratna’s mother being the second following the death of the first.

Ratna spent most of her adult life away from Toba, living first in Jakarta with her extended family—brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, etc. She worked at a transportation/cargo company based…

Batch 11, Indonesia 2by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Sumatra, Lake Toba, Batak, Permaculture

63 - A Trip Within A Trip (Danau Toba, Sumatra, Indonesia)

On my world trip, I took a little “trip”. And it was fucking glorious. Absolutely magnificent, kind sir… or ma’am. Drugs in Indonesia are a big fat no-no. Illegit. Too illegit to quit. Shrooms technically fall into this category, but no one seems to care. They are sold openly in Bali, the Gili Islands, and the Lake Toba region. It’s so blatant, I was sure they were legal, or at least not illegal. Nope. I guess it’s on the books, but the books are out of print. And that was fine with me.

What does “openly” really mean? More than one Toba restaurant had mushroom omelette on the menu. Ideal, as I love breakfast and tripping my balls off. A winning combo indeed, so gimme a “P” for paradise, eh gov’nah?…

Batch 11, Indonesia 2by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Sumatra, Lake Toba, Danau Toba, psilocybin

64 - Lounging Lawang (Bukit Lawang, Sumatra, Indonesia)

The area’s biggest draw is orangutans, and for good reason. They’re spell-binding little bastards. (Actually, some are quite large.) The term “orangutan” was coined in the seventeenth century and is derived from the Malay and Indo words orang, meaning “person” and hutan, meaning “forest”. And when you meet them you understand the appellation “person of the forest.” All in the eyes, my friend. All in the eyes.

Not far from a cove of guesthouses (including mine) lies a rehabilitation center. The surrounding area contains a mix of wild and semi-wild (rehabilitated) orangutans. Every day at 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. rangers feed “attendees” and offer a public viewing. The most popular activity is a two-day, one-night shallow trek into the park to spot “wild” orangutans.

Batch 11, Indonesia 2by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, sumatra, Bukit Lawang, orangutan

65 - Kindertehuis (Bukit Lawang, Sumatra, Indonesia)

Buuuuuuut… it’s far better to regret the things you did do, as opposed to the things you didn’t, eh? When was I ever going to be on the edge of the Sumatran jungle again? It’s unanimous, I was indeed a schmuck for this indiscretion.

I did, however, embark on a quest for the lost Café of Internet. Like my quest to execute a jungle quest, it ended in frustration. For internetting, I had two options—a shop in town or a place on the outskirts past an upscale hotel. Due to the unstable nature of the electrical grid, I was directed toward the latter. Why, exactly, I can’t recall. Perhaps, my informant intuited generator power at the out-of-town establishment. The “lost” cafe was allegedly a twenty-minute walk from my guesthouse.

Batch 12, Indonesia 3by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, sumatra, Bukit Lawang

66 - Selamat Tinggal Indonesia!

Indonesia became my friendliness baseline, my initial reference point for cultural warmth and hospitality. The people are most definitely one of the highlights. It wasn’t all peaches and sunshine. There were, as everywhere, bad apples. I fondly remember the gentleman who knew I was walking in the dark by myself toward Mt. Bromo down the wrong path but refused to help because I had no interest in paying for a horsey ride. A-hole. Such encounters were the exception, not the rule, and in no way tarnished my overall experience. If anything, such experiences were a gift. I can’t help but chortle at the memories.

Disappointments? I had a few. I’ve mentioned the immigration cluster-fuckage many times. Beyond that? Well, the surprising level of development and tourism infrastructure…

Batch 12, Indonesia 3by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Indonesia, Bali, Ubud

67 - Not Just Dead… (Kuala Lumpur, Malyasia)

First and foremost, I was hoping to repair the external hard drive I dropped in Bali, or at the very least retrieve the data. Wish in one hand, shit in the other. Six different shops crushed my hopes and dreams in succession. A corrupted drive? Yeah, there’s an app for that. A broken (as in no spinny-spin) hard drive was a horse of a different color… or a unicorn as it were. I required a repair and extract solution. They didn’t have it. Who does have it? Um, forensic data engineers? NASA? The NSA? Google? Bill Gates? One shop owner intimated I might find someone in KL, but it would cost both my legs and one-third of my liver. A bridge too far to recover an iTunes library and some bootleg movies… sigh. The owner of the last shop on my digital trail of tears put it perfectly…

Batch 12, Malaysiaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur

Picture Indonesia (Bali, Lombok, Sumbawa, Flores, Java, Sumatra)

Ubud, Kuta, Sumbawa Besar, Bima, Lake Toba, Gili Trawangan, Mt. Batur, Mt. Agung, Ende, Maumere, Jakarta, Surabaya, Medan, Bogor, Bandar, Lampung, Padang, Denpasar, Surakarta, Yogyakarta, Bengkulu, Probolinggo, Bukittinggi, Sungai, Penuh, Bajawa, Komodo Island, Rinca Island, Mt. Rinjani, Mt. Merapi

Kelimutu, Kalinda, Mt. Krakatoa, Krui, Lake Bratan, Bedugul, Seminyak, Pura Sbatu, Trunyan, Lake Batur, Uluwatu, Mt. Bromo, Kawah Ijen, Bondowoso, Borobudur, Prambanan, Mt. Kerinci, Labuan Bajo, Ruteng, Sape, Poto Tano, Mataram, Sengigi, Kuta (Lombok), Senaru, Lembar, Legian, Jimbaran, Tegallalang, Kitamani, Gianyar…

Indonesia 3, miscby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020

68 - Sri Lanka Timeline

1505 - Portuguese arrive in Colombo, marking beginning of European interest.

1658 - Dutch force out Portuguese and establish control over whole island except central kingdom of Kandy.

1796 - Britain begins to take over island.

1815 - Kingdom of Kandy conquered. Britain starts bringing in Tamil labourers from southern India to work in tea, coffee and coconut plantations.

1833 - Whole island united under one British administration.

1931 - British grant the right to vote and introduce power sharing with Sinhalese-run cabinet.

1948 - Ceylon gains full independence

1949 - Indian Tamil plantation workers disenfranchised and many deprived of citizenship…

Batch 12, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka

69 - Naked Negombo (Western Province, Sri Lanka)

A single month wasn’t ideal. I had to economize my time, make shit count. Best way to do so? Get your own goddamn wheels. Worked wonders in Indonesia. Worked wonders in Sri Lanka. I’d already made inquires via the interweb regarding motorbike rentals and found a shop ready and willing to fulfill my mobility desires. It all looked kosher on the agency’s webpage, but you just never know. I was cautiously optimistic.

Optimism? Justified. Suranga of Sha Lanka Negambo kindly offered to arrange an airport transfer to his shop. Upon arrival, I was united with my new travel companion—a Honda XR 250 Baja. Two hundred fifty cubic centimeters of pure adrenaline…The 250cc’s was more than adequate for my purposes. They had 400cc and 650cc engines available, but I didn’t see the need for more firepower.

Batch 12, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Negombo, Angurukaramulla Temple, Sha Lanka Negambo

70 - Wrong Turn, Right Way (Negombo to Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka)

I arrived in Puttalam por la manana, secured lodging, and went for a spin on the nearby peninsula. Destination: Kalpitiya. I surmounted my first military checkpoint without incident. The soldiers asked where I was headed, but the question felt more like a product of curiosity than regulation. The peninsula isn’t a tourist hotspot. Mr. White Stuff on a dirt bike is a rare event. I received many familiar “What the hell is that and why is it here?” stares I was so accustomed after my Indo sojourn, it almost felt like coming home. There wasn’t much to see in the way of attractions but this was fine by me. The ride was the destination. Old Dutch fort commandeered by the army and closed to the public? Ain’t no thang.…

Batch 12, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Buduruwakanda, Puttalam

71 - Anuradhapura (North Central Province, Sri Lanka)

I’ve heard the “off-putting personal personality theory” before and since. On the road, I can say it was somewhat of a construct. I tried to balance the line between friendly and unapproachable in a doomed effort to attract the cream and discourage the miscreants. Still, I’d be lying if I said this aura didn’t attach in situations where hindrance outweighed benefit. I loathe to admit it, but my unapproachable nature has often put up a social defense shield. And though I was (am) acutely aware of my social shortcomings, something about hearing it from Chari and Chandana hit home. I shudder to think how many interludes I’ve missed along the way on account of my gruff aura. I resolved to substitute less “Grrrrrr” for a little more “Purrrrrr”

Something about standing next to a thousand-year-old ruin…

Sri Lanka, Batch 13by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Anuradhapura

72 - Curiosity Quagmire (Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka)

Dost thou believeth in Fate? I’m a definite “maybe” though my definition is more in line with the Stoic logos "rigidly deterministic single whole" sort of deal. If I hadn’t lost my motorcycle key, Chandana never would’ve come to my aid. Never would’ve met him or Chari. If I hadn’t unintentionally passed the museum, I wouldn’t have encountered my friends again and would’ve missed a wonderful experience (i.e. Mihintale, Ruwanwelisaya by night, and a host of deeper historical and cultural insights). Now that would’ve been a tragedy. Anuradhapura touched me in a way I have trouble describing. It was rare and special. I will treasure it always. It’s why I did what I did (i.e. set out without a plan, sabotaged my “career”, alienated close friends, so on and so forth), and it provided fuel for further exploration…

Batch 13, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Anuradhapura, Ruwanwelisaya Stupa, Mihintale

73 - Lost Road To Perdition (Polonnaruwa, Sri Lanka)

A gauntlet of military checkpoints stood between me and Jaffna in the far north. Solo travelers required special permission to pass. I had no clue how to obtain said permission and a pessimistic outlook on my chances of receiving it. Public transport was a viable option and guaranteed my passage north, but this was suboptimal in a “defeats the whole purpose” sort of way. No route deviations. No unscheduled stops. No bueno. No way I would’ve seen the camps from public transport, at least not in any depth. And give up the Baja? Not a fargin chance.

With all that in mind, I capitulated, driving east to the seaside city of Trincomalee. My disappointment in light of the “lost road to Jaffna” quickly faded…

Batch 13, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Polonnaruwa, Kaudulla National Park

74 - Wasps, Temples, Knuckles, and Kandy (Central Sri Lanka)

Nothing like an archeological hissy spat to get the juices flowing. I’d be lying if I said the uncertainty hasn’t kept me up nights. But it doesn’t have to, no? Could it not be both? Monks arrived around the third century BCE. Mayhap, a palace was built in the 5th CE and the site became a monastery (again) sometime after that until abandoned in the 14th CE. Bam, everyone’s satisfied. Peace on earth.

Sigiriya isn’t without its perils. Wasps. Colonies of killer flesh-eating wasps. Okay, maybe without the “killer” or “flesh-eating” part. (Also, technically they’re giant honey bees.) Still, I was told they can be a real…

Sri Lanka, Batch 13by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Sigiriya, Dambulla, Kandy, Knuckles Mountain Range

75 - World’s End & Dead Butterflies (Central Province, Sri Lanka)

Alone (mostly) with my thoughts on a sacred mountain in Sri Lanka… I’m in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka. A month ago, I knew nothing of the place. And now? I’m humping it up Adam’s Peak in the dead of night with a strange mutt? What the fuck am I doing? Shouldn’t I be working? Am I pathetic? Why am I so pathetic? Time to get a life? What the fuck’s wrong with me?… I went on like that for some time. Just me and my puppy in search… in search of… what exactly? Meaning? Purpose? Inspiration? Enlightenment? Dunno. Sure, I felt the weight of an uncertain future bearing down on me, but I also felt free, or at least as free I could feel. Then again…

76 - Zen Desolation (Arugam Bay, Sri Lanka)

Explore. Explore. Explore. That was my mandate. I drove the Baja down random side roads, across open pastures, and navigated woodland paths littered with thorny brush. (I had the scratch wounds to prove it.) Ah, the freedom of motorcycle mobility. Trail rides and empty beaches were my rewards. My stops included Crocodile Rock, a series of rounded stone formations by the beach. I saw none of the landmark’s namesakes, but did spot two Asian elephants on a stroll and couldn’t resist getting a closer look. Ill-advised? Yep. Rather than stomp my stupid ass into dust, Team Dumbo scampered off when alerted to my presence.

South of Arugam Bay, I found the real treasure…

Batch 13, Sri Lankaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMarch 1, 2020Sri Lanka, Arugam Bay, Kudimbigala Forest Hermitage, Okanda

77 -Yala to Marakolliya Beach (Southern Province, Sri Lanka)

The atmosphere was tense, as one might expect when prey and predator convene in close quarters. Two spotted deer edged their way closer and closer to a pond teeming with crocs. A few reptiles lounged nearby, thoroughly uninterested. I couldn’t say the same for one drifting toward shore submarine-style. Bambi and Rudolf took nervous sips from the water’s edge before moving on, forestalling doom.

Seaside Yala is equally compelling. A swift breeze conspired with a setting sun to solidify the park as one of my favorite places in the Sri. You could say the beach is haunting and haunted, poetic and tragic. On December 26, 2004, a tsunami killed forty-seven people (tourists and locals) at the site I visited…