83 - Ha Long, Lan Ha, & Cat Ba (Quang Ninh Province, Vietnam)
“The natural forces conspiring to create this marvel are varied and complex. According to local legend, dragons helped. (Ha Long means “descending dragon” in Vietnamese.) While trolling the waters between karst towers, I could almost believe that. A dragon mounted atop the pillars wouldn’t feel out of place. We didn’t see any...”
by Mr. Nos T. O’maniac
WE RETURNED TO HANOI ON SEPTEMBER 29TH, scheduled to leave for Ha Long Bay the next morning. From there, we’d catch a Chinese junk and cruise the bay’s bright green waters for two days and nights. Typhoon Ketsana said, “Nuh-uh.” It tore through the Philippines with a vengeance, stalled, and then regained force in the South China Sea before thrashing central Vietnam. Death and destruction lay in its wake. The seven-day forecast was a repeating sequence of “Thunderstorms/Rain.” Time wasn’t on our side. Michelle had less than a week before returning to Ireland. And yet, “fairy tales can come true, it could happen to you…” Miraculously, by the 30th Ketsana shit its wad and petered out. We rebooked and were back on track for the 1st of October. Yay.
Package tours don’t tickle my fancy but became a necessary evil given time constraints. So, it was a tour bus to Ha Lang followed by a two-night junk run in Ha Long Bay capped off by three days of leisure on Cat Ba Island. The bus was, well, odd. Our tour guide had a microphone and a powerful desire to share interesting factoids about Hanoi and Vietnam. Context, history, and background? I’m in. Thing is, dude’s voice was unbelievably irritating (something akin to raking stones inside your head.) Perfect for Zen-master training, not ideal on a “relaxing” ride. I wasn’t above offering a cash payment to cease and desist.
He shared depressing tidbits regarding thousands of children disabled courtesy of the American military via ungodly amounts of chemical herbicide (Agent Orange primarily) and unexploded ordnance dumped on the countryside during the Vietnam War. The number of bombs and amount of chemicals dropped and sprayed on Indochina (Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam) staggers the imagination—7,662,000 tons of explosives, 20 million gallons of herbicide … gulp. That’s triple the bomb total of WWII… gulp. Forests contaminated. Peopled poisoned.
The Vietnamese government has struggled to meet the needs of its populace ever since. Our tourist bazaar pit stop was established with victims in mind, much of the proceeds meant to bridge the gap left by insufficient government funding. It got a little awkward when the guide asked me where I was from. “Uhhhh… ummm….A-mer-i-ca… gulp.”
Ha Long Bay, you say? This about sums it up:
“Towering limestone pillars and tiny islets topped by forest rise from the emerald waters of the Gulf of Tonkin. Designated a World Heritage Site in 1994, Halong Bay's scatter of islands, dotted with wind- and wave-eroded grottoes, is a vision of ethereal beauty and, unsurprisingly, northern Vietnam's number one-tourism hub.” (See Lonely Planet here.)
The natural forces conspiring to create this marvel are varied and complex. According to local legend, dragons helped. (Ha Long means “descending dragon” in Vietnamese.) While trolling the waters between karst towers, I could almost believe that. A dragon mounted atop the pillars wouldn’t feel out of place. We didn’t see any.
Floating villages dot the channels of Halong and the adjacent Lan Ha Bay. The aquatic denizens live most of their lives on boats and bobbing homesteads. Hard to imagine for modern landlubbers and maybe getting harder to imagine for them as well. Fishing is their bread and butter—that and tourism. All right, maybe tourism is the bread and fishing is the butter. I’m guessing there are more tourists than fish, so you wouldn’t be remiss for suggesting some villages along the tourist trail might be props. There are authentic examples, but living day-to-day under a microscope can’t be ideal. Hence, the “mock-up” villages on display.
We rounded out our fandango on Cat Ba Island:
“Rugged, craggy and jungle-clad Cat Ba, the largest island in Halong Bay, has experienced a tourism surge in recent years. The central hub of Cat Ba Town is now framed by a chain of low-rise concrete hotels along its once-lovely bay, but the rest of the island is largely untouched and as wild as ever. With idyllic Lan Ha Bay just offshore, you'll soon overlook Cat Ba Town's overdevelopment.” (See Lonely Planet here.)
We spent two of the three nights at an upscale hotel, a welcome upgrade given the company. High adventure? Not exactly, but I couldn’t complain. I needed a change of pace, a change of pace underscored by female companionship. We relaxed by the pool, explored the area via motorbike, and hired a boat into Lan Ha Bay. Let’s call it a honeymoon-esque adventure, shall we?
There was a notable exception. Lan Ha and Ha Long are famous for rock climbing. The only thing better than staring at limestone karsts is scaling them. This held no interest for Michelle, and watching me fumble my way up a cliff is no way to spend a morning, so we split up the band for the day. She chilled poolside; I embarrassed myself on the rocks. I wasn’t there for the epic climbs. It was the scenery that drew my attention. All else was bonus material. With competent guidance, any idiot can have a go.
Typhoon Ketsana (Ondoy)
The Big Picture (boston.com)
September 30, 2009
About a week ago, Typhoon Ketsana (known in the Phillippines as "Ondoy") made landfall, and according to the Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA), Ketsana dropped 455 mm (17.9 in) of rain on Metro Manila in a span of 24 hours on Saturday - the most in 42 years…READ MORE
Deadly Typhoon Ketsana slams into Vietnam
msnbc.com news services
updated 9/29/2009 7:35:31 PM ET
HANOI/MANILA — A powerful typhoon slammed into central Vietnam on Tuesday, killing 32 people and flooding towns and villages along the country's long coastline after leaving a trail of death and destruction in the Philippines…READ MORE
Besides the extraordinary terrain, I was part of a colorful crew of misfits. A trio of young American gents straight out of a frat house genre added vim and vigor to the enterprise. Normally, I’d find their signature American-ness an unworthy intrusion, but they were too entertaining to offend or spoil the vibe. Phrases like “we crushed that shit” describing past feats of strength and agility had me giggling.
A South African climber from Cape Town shared a personal antidote I never forgot. A year earlier, en route to his girlfriend’s birthday party, he and a female friend were carjacked. They ceded to all materialistic demands without resistance, but the jackers insisted they join their excursion. The drug-infused nutbags stuffed them in the back and went on a victory tour of the surrounding township. This included a stop at their favorite pub and a round of donuts in the parking lot to impress their pals. Then, on to another bar for proper drinks. Kidnapees can cramp your style, so they were locked in the trunk. The delinquents made no attempt to conceal their faces, a detail that didn’t fill the hostages with confidence. But…
An off-duty policeman at the bar noticed something afoot. He confronted the criminals, arrested them, and recovered the vehicle. The hostages, however, didn’t realize cops had taken possession as they were speaking the same language as the hijackers. (South Africa has many.) Only when they realized they were at a police station did they kick out the back seat and announce their presence. The cops suspected their involvement and treated them accordingly. Talk about insult to injury. Eventually, they were cleared of wrongdoing and released. They arrived at his girlfriend’s house, medicated with alcohol, and regaled the crowd. Wow.
From criminal misadventures to medical ones. An owner of Slo Pony Adventures (the rock climbing outfit) was still recovering from Dengue Fever, a mosquito-borne disease you don’t want. It was his second ride on the Dengue train, and it took its toll. They moved him from Cat Ba to Hanoi, but he went downhill. So, off to Bangkok for a two-week convalescence in the hospital. He told me there had been 3,000 cases recently reported in Hanoi. Mine eyes hath been opened. Sure, I had medical insurance, but it didn’t cover evacuations. Had he not had supplemental coverage, evacuations (to Hanoi, then Bangkok) would’ve set him back $24,000. I went straight to the World Nomads website and secured a policy.
Michelle and I said farewell…
