216 - Victoria Falls (Livingstone, Zambia)
MEANDER THROUGH SOUTHERN AFRICA AND NOT SEE THE LARGEST WATERFALL IN THE WORLD, one of the Seven Natural Wonders? Reprehensible. One might say criminal. So, we made it a point to do so. It then boiled down to logistics. Driving from Maun to Kasane in northern Botswana would’ve tacked on a few hundred kilometers to Sparky. Not good, as it was clear we were going to demolish the ceiling on our allowable kilometers for the month. Neither did we relish the thought of all that extra driving over less-than-stellar roadways. Sparky needed a respite, and so did we. Time to take flight.
Flights were inexpensive ($60 US one way). Just make sure to specify you’d like to pay less money, as opposed to more. We visited the Air Botswana office at the airport in Kasane to inquire about a return flight to Maun and were quoted a much higher fare than we’d received on the flight in. After considering different departure dates, the woman behind the desk finally asked if we’d like the “special rate” (i.e. cheaper). No, no. We were hoping to pay the highest fare available… if you don’t mind. Are there any seats left at that ignorant tourist rate? Good, good. We’ll take it. Would you mind expediting that? We need to hurry back to our hotel, so we can burn the rest of our savings. Alrighty then. Thank you so much. I think I’ll go outside and fuck myself now.
Kasane is near the “Four Corners” of Africa (Botswana, Namibia, Zambia, Zimbabwe), a popular starting point for many a trip to Victoria Falls. (VF actually crosses the Zambia/Zimbabwe border.) Victoria Falls, the village, lies on the Zimbabwean side and was once the main tourist hub for exploration. This changed when Zimbabwe’s president, Robert Mugabe, went dipshit mental, instituted a nutty land redistribution policy, destroyed the economy, and destabilized the country like it was his job. Inflation was so out of control, the government started printing 100 trillion dollar bills. (They now use US dollars). This scared all but the most die-hard tourists away. Things had improved, but in the interim, the city of Livingstone (Zambia) developed significant infrastructure to compensate.
We chose Zambia because we knew crossing into Zimbabwe (where most of the falls lie) is a hop, skip, and a jump across a bridge. What we didn’t realize was the expense incurred by doing so. Getting to Livingstone? Easy peasy. Take a taxi from Kasane to the Zambezi River, followed by a short boat ride and another taxi. It was $20 for a Zambian single-day entry visa, $50 for a single-entry-multiple-day visa, and $80 for a multi-entry visa. If you want to cross the bridge to see the other side, you’d be wise to purchase the multi-entry visa, or you’ll have to shell out another $50 to get back into Zambia. The visa to Zimbabwe is also around $50 bucks. At a minimum, you’ll drop $100 to cross both borders. This could change, depending on new regulations, whim and fancy, or a random coin toss. Either way, bring a camera and an irresponsible financial attitude when heading to VF. All this discouraged us from crossing, but I’m not sure we missed much.
Livingstone is named for David Livingstone, the first European to lay eyes on Victoria Falls, which he named after Queen Victoria. And yes, it’s that Livingstone, as in “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?”. Its convenient location and budget-friendliness make for an ideal base of operations.
We arrived not long after 6:00 a.m., anticipating a crowd. Tourists? None. Park office? Locked. Huh. Eventually, a truck dropped off employees, and we entered. March is slow season. Rivers swell from the rainfall, making Vic Falls appear, well, angry. The indigenous name, Mosi-oa-Tunya, means “Thundering Smoke.” While we were there, it was thundering its balls off.
Arrive a few weeks later and the torrent will be obscured by mist. I happen to think it was the perfect time, a compelling medium between peak thunder and relative dry-season trickle. Most prefer the dry season when the Zambian side withers and one can walk across the edge to Livingstone Island. Ideally, you’d visit twice to appreciate both perspectives, but if I had to choose, I’d go when the cascade is near full force and borderline deafening. Stupefying… that’s the word.
We forked over the dough for a boat trip to Livingston Island for a look-see and a private breakfast. (We’re worth it.) After donning rain gear, our guide brought us to the edge of madness for a peek into the abyss. Another word: awesome. My heart skipped several beats.
Later, we entered the bridge spanning the Zambezi between Zambia and Zimbabwe for yet another angle. No visa required. I believe we could’ve left and reentered Zambia seamlessly. No one appeared to be paying attention. And if someone happens to notice? Feign preoccupation and act stupid. Works for me.
And then came the grand finale, an experience that almost wasn’t. Just about any activity imaginable is on tap. Bungee jumping, river rafting, river boarding, abseiling, fishing, horseback riding, helicopter flight, etc. You name it. Wanna molest a rhino? I’m sure it’s feasible. How about a microlight flight? I’ve always wanted to give this a shot and could think of no better place. It is expensive—$120 US for a fifteen-minute flight. Ouchie! I oscillated but knew down deep resistance was futile.
Two words: Fucking. Wow. I went in the afternoon on a clear day and drifted above Vic Falls like [insert trite bird analogy here]. There’s not a whole lot between you and the Almighty, so if heights aren’t your thing, you might want to take a pass. Even my German pilot who’d made thousands of flights behaved like it was his first time. I understood why. Fifteen minutes turned into twenty. I appreciated every single one. This was never on my bucket list, but it should’ve been. After returning to earth, I informed Leslie it would be a travesty to leave without going for it. She went for it. She agreed. You'd be an asshole not to do it. Don't be an asshole.
We’ve all seen the lovely photos of Victoria Falls and the beautiful rainbow hovering above. It’s easily the most famous waterfall, and considered to be one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World. The falls is split between the countries of Zambia and Zimbabwe. Seeing as how we were only a hop, skip ,and a jump away, passing up on a visit seemed out of the question.
Upon returning from the Delta there was talk of incorporating a trip to Chobe National Park, since our detour would have us knocking on its doorstep. Instead of working out the details in advance, we opted to leave it up to chance, as the travel agency we entrusted for Kwara (Travel Wild), left a bitter taste in our mouths. Had we gone directly into Kwando Safari’s office, just a few blocks away, we would have splurged for an extended stay in the Delta, seeing as how our “3-day package’”offered zero savings and was based on a daily rate significantly higher than that of Kwando (cue long, exasperated sigh).
Travel Wild makes a killing by taking advantage of others and providing false information. The worst part is that Kwando is well aware of this and simply doesn’t care. In fact, when we questioned a member of their staff, she openly admitted that they often refer clients to their office, so that they can make a “little something” for themselves. What!?! Not only is that bad business, but the fact that she openly shared that, as if to slap us in the face, was just baffling. To be completely honest, the most upsetting part is that with one more night, I would have seen a leopard. Yes, a real, live, furry, leopard – shame on you Katia for taking away my childhood dream… shame on you.
With our bags still packed, we boarded another plane, headed for Kasane. We considered driving, but poor road conditions, weather, and our already excessive mileage stood in the way. In all reality, it was nice to give the car a rest and take to the skies for a while. When we landed, we caught a cab to the Zambezi River, waited along the shore for a boat to ferry us across, and then emptied our pockets at immigration, followed by another cab ride into Livingston – everything’s a process.
We opted to base ourselves on the Zambian side, knowing that we could cross the bridge into Zimbabwe for the day, in order to see the falls from all sides. What we didn’t know, but should have assumed, was that this little excursion is far from free; Victoria Falls will flatten your wallet in no time, so be prepared. I shudder to think of the price tag attached to our visit, but experiences, such as that one, are priceless. I’d far rather fill up my mind and memory cards, than closet.
Choosing between the sides wasn’t easy, but in the end, Livingstone seemed to make the most sense, as it offered a wide range of accommodations and services. The Zimbabwean side was once considered the premiere destination, but thanks to their president, Robert Mugabe, and his off-your-rocker policies, inflation skyrocketed, the economy went bust, and the country spiraled into dark and depressing times. Note to those in charge: circulating bills in the billions and trillions is a no-no. My personal favorite was the one-hundred trillion dollar bill.
It is said that the falls receives somewhere in the neighborhood of 300,000 visitors annually, give or take a few. The park opens at 6am, so we awoke before sunrise to beat the crowd. You can imagine our surprise when we arrived at the gate to find that everyone else had decided to sleep in that day; we were completely alone. We arrived in the off-season, something we developed a knack for. The heavy rainfall provided us with quite the display, as the falls was roaring in full force. It was, to put it simply, amazing. There’s something incredible about standing in the presence of something so powerful, so grand, that it completely envelops you. The spray soaks you, sounds shake you, and for a moment, you feel as though it’s all just for you. I felt, for lack of a better term, lucky. In fact, much of my travels have left me feeling that way.
After exploring for much of the morning, we hired a boat to take us to Livingstone Island, in the center of the falls. We enjoyed a private tour and were treated to a lovely lunch. Covered from head to toe in rain gear, we stepped into the water, letting it crash against us, as we peered over the edge. A few seconds is all it takes to get your adrenaline fix — not exactly something for the faint of heart. I secretly wanted to do it again… and again… and again. Junkie? Perhaps.
After lunch we were given the ‘OK’ to enter Zimbabwe, without our passports, to view the falls from the bridge that links the two sides. We met some interesting folks, all attempting to make a quick buck, and rightfully so. My favorite part was when I met a man that wanted to trade just about any souvenir he had for my 99 cent super-glued flipflops that I had been stringing along since leaving home. I would have gladly given them up, had they any life left in them. At that point, they were strictly sentimental and far from functional. I could feel every pebble, nail, and shard of glass from underneath my feet, but I didn’t care. They were strapped to my feet when I boarded my flight to Istanbul in September and I was determined to wear them home, even if it meant daily applications of superglue.
We were about to call it a day when Rich’s curiosity got the best of both of us. We knew that Victoria Falls was lovely from the ground, so naturally we wondered about the view from above. He enlisted the help of a German pilot to fly him over the falls in an ultra-light, open-aircraft, known as a Micro-Light. After watching him soar up, up, and away, I decided to follow in his footsteps. Twenty minutes later, it proved to be the best $120 I’ve ever spent.
Leslie Peralta, “Visiting Victoria Falls: Mosi-O-Tunya, March 2011” — Soledad: Notes From My Travels