On to Denmark. Why Denmark, you ask? Who wouldn’t want to see the happiest place on Earth? Year after year, the Danes sit atop the happiness index. I’d been there before and could attest to its congeniality, though my exposure was superficial at best. And when you’re visiting your five-foot-ten-inch blonde Danish girlfriend, what’s not to love? Though our affections fizzled, we kept in touch. I was in the throes of an existential crisis (insert link) and reached out for a sympathetic ear. She invited me to visit. I was hesitant and thought I could sense the same in her voice. My gut advised against it. My hormones overruled. I’m a moron. Thankfully, I had a backup plan…

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