The Great Sojourn — theNOSTOMANIAC.com

215 - Nine Lions And Some Yippee-ki-yay (Okavango Delta, Botswana)

If you stay calm, make no sudden movements, and stay seated, everything is hunkey dorey. Do something stupid like stand up, and you’re no longer a part of the solid mass. You’re singular, distinct, and could be perceived as a threat. Not a good position near lion cubs. Stories were passed around later about an unfortunate soul who stood up in a similar vehicle near a leopard, instigating a vicious attack that left the occupants alive but severely injured. No one wants to be that asshole.

At the outset, two other vehicles shared the space, but we found ourselves alone after thirty minutes. This astonished me…

Batch 37, Botswanaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 6, 2019Okavango Delta, Botswana, Kwando Safaris, Kwara Camp

216 - Victoria Falls (Livingstone, Zambia)

Arrive a few weeks later and the torrent will be obscured by mist. I happen to think it was the perfect time, a compelling medium between peak thunder and relative dry-season trickle. Most prefer the dry season when the Zambian side withers and one can walk across the edge to Livingstone Island. Ideally, you’d visit twice to appreciate both perspectives, but if I had to choose, I’d go when the cascade is near full force and borderline deafening. Stupefying… that’s the word.

We forked over the dough for a boat trip to Livingston Island for a look-see and a private breakfast. (We’re worth it.) After donning rain gear, our guide brought us to the edge of madness for a peek into the abyss. Another word: awesome. My heart skipped several beats…

Batch 37, Zambiaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 5, 2019Victoria Falls, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Livingstone

217 - And Then There Was One…

My feelings evolved. In the ensuing years, I experienced deep regrets and emotions that often threatened to overwhelm me in an instant. I wasn’t afraid she still had feelings for me, that she still needed me. I was afraid she didn’t, and I couldn’t bear the truth.

I’d fallen down an abandoned well of despair, one I believed I’d never escape. I didn’t want to see Leslie again. I needed to see her again. My life came to a standstill, an existential limbo. I thought of her life. What are you doing right now? Who are you doing it with? Do you ever think of me? Of us? Do you still have a warm place in your heart for our time together? Such thoughts could and would send me into a downward spiral that took days to recover from…

Batch 37, South Africa, miscby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 4, 2019Love, Friendship

218 - Medical Tourism (Istanbul, Turkey)

Acibadem Fulya, the hospital in Istanbul, was the newest addition to the network. It had only been operating for six months. Everything was brand spanking new, and it was the nicest hospital I’ve ever visited. They have a specific “check-up” department, using the English phrase “check-up” on the signage. I arrived and checked in at the reception desk. Although the clerical staff spoke very little English, they provided a liaison who’d lived in Houston, Texas for twenty-five years. All the doctors also spoke English.

First, I had blood drawn, blood pressure measurements, height, weight, etc. Next was a visit to…

Turkey, Batch 38by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 3, 2019Acibadem FulyaIstanbul, Medical Tourism

219 - Wandering the 'Bul (Istanbul, Turkey)

I defy you to visit Istanbul and not drink a shit ton of tea or smoke an assload of hookah. It’s a cultural hotbed of social interaction and almost feels like a requirement, though a pleasant one at that… until you make yourself nauseous from tobacco. Also, I’m surprised I have any teeth remaining after guzzling tea equal parts sugar and water.

If Taksim Square is Istanbul’s heart, then Istiklal Avenue is its main artery. One can find anything and everything—shops, restaurants, cafes, bars, theaters, galleries, etc. I patrolled this thoroughfare no less than 1.32 million times. With Istanbul being the cosmopolitan “East meets West nexus,” anonymity is easy to attain, even for a 6’4” goofball American….

Turkey, Batch 38by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 2, 2019Istanbul, Taksim Square, Istiklal Avenue, Body Worlds, Plastination

220 - Proverbial Horizon (Bozcaada to Cappadocia, Turkey)

Over the course of a week, we explored by car and on foot. By day, we’d explore the culture and geology of Goreme’s surrounding areas and beyond. By night, we ate delicious food, drank ridiculously sweet tea, and puffed on a hooka until nausea set in. Although there were a fair amount of tourists, most were of the tour bus lazy-ass variety, which meant for the most interesting hikes, we had the area to ourselves. I knew Cappadocia would be interesting, but I underestimated its magical quality. Get there while the weather is cool and before the hoards descend. You’ll not be disappointed. Crannies to inspect, caves to spelunk, and phallic “fairy” chimneys to ponder….

Turkey, Batch 38by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacOctober 1, 2019Turkey, Bozcaada, Cappadocia, Goreme, fairy chimneys

…or was I? (Indonesia to Turkey)

The power of language is undeniable. How evocative the act of arranging letters in a particular order can be. CIA. FBI. NSA. DIA. AIA. ASA. NRO. Betcha you’re not sure what all of those represent. Don’t beat yourself up. It doesn’t reflect poorly on your intelligence.

If what I am intimating has even a modicum of veracity, I’d be out of my fucking gourd to write about it… or would I? Everyone has a breaking point, a point when one can no longer swallow the bullshit and finds themselves compelled to speak. Perhaps I’d reached that stage… or did I?

Who likes timelines? From January to August 2009, I was in Indonesia. Curious timing, wouldn’t you say? On July 17th, 2009, two separate bombs…

misc, Batch 38by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacSeptember 30, 2019secret agent man

221 - Smile Because It Happened… Asshole

So, I sit, and I dream of more. Not because I deserve more. Not because I feel entitled. Not because I need more. (I do.) Only because a hundred lifetimes would be insufficient to “suck out all the marrow of life.” That’s the triumph and the tragedy of our existence, whether or not we choose to face it. There’s a moment or period in everyone's life they treasure. It may be a minute or a year, but it’s there. And that moment, that feeling, that sense of comprehension, is a feeling like no other and trumps any drug out there. If you’re lucky, moments of triumph outnumber moments of tragedy. And if you’re really lucky, you have the good sense and good fortune to cherish that remarkable circumstance because, in the blink of an eye, someday it will all be over…

Batch 38, miscRich PlumadoreSeptember 29, 2019