Batch 29 — The Great Sojourn — theNOSTOMANIAC.com

Sooooooo… you’re allowed to be a non-Muslim. Muslims can convert, but it must be organic certified. Non-Muslims can practice their faith, but not allowed to proselytize. Non-Muslim foreigners can enter the country but not allowed to conduct missionary activities with those outside their faith. Gray areas and blurred lines, ya heard. See where I'm headed with this?

Ashraf, a Tunisian comrade I met via Couchsurfing.com, invited me to an English club established by a group of young Americans from Texas. The club’s professed aim was to accelerate a cultural exchange and give Tunisians studying English a chance to practice with native speakers. Super. The group met in a courtyard inside Tunis' medina.…

Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacDecember 3, 2019Tunisia, Tunis, Christian Missionaries

166 - Sa-HA-ra! (Ksar Ghilane, Tunisia)

We wanted more than a taste of the Sahara (pronounced “sa-HA-ra!” with a violent crotch grab). We wanted a heaping mouthful. Our fantasy was thus: An oasis tent camp surrounded by an ocean of dunes, simmering desert sunsets, peaceful star-filled nights, crackling campfires, and an inescapable feeling of desolation that would echo through our dreams. Perhaps a short camel diversion led by a desert-hardened Berber man with one eye and a scorpion forehead tattoo would be in the cards. Ever heard the expression “wish in one hand, shit in the other”?

Rent a 4WD drive? Not a chance. Nobody was interested, though we found many a tour operator willing to charge the going rate…

Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacDecember 2, 2019Tunisia, Sahara, Ksar Ghilane

167 - Jedi Living (Matmata, Tunisia)

The Berbers who settled this region took environmental adaptation to another level, constructing underground homes as an escape from the desert inferno. These dwellings resemble manicured bomb craters from above, and many are invisible from ground level until you’re right on them. Just outside Matmata, we stopped at one for tea and a look around. A certain “human zoo” atmosphere permeates the vibe, but it’s still worth a visit. Also, it provides a needed source of income for locals.

If a visit won’t suffice, you can stay at one of many hotels built on the same design. You'd be a complete asshole not to. We bid a not-so-fond farewell to our driver …

Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacDecember 1, 2019Tunisia, Matmata, Luke Skywalker, Star Wars, Hotel Sidi Driss

168 - Scooter Dreams (Djerba, Tunisia)

Negotiating was more cumbersome than normal. The problem? We were Americans. Full stop. Djerba has been so jaded by cash-flaunting tourists on short blowout vacations, any attempt at bargaining was seen as a clear insult. Merchants loved pointing out that prices are fixed in America. The fact Northern Africa and the whole of the Middle East are renowned for bargaining culture was lost on them. We were filthy rich and should’ve ceased being whiny little bitchbags. Touché.

After blast off, we didn't get far. My spark plug cable kept separating from the engine. Upon return to the shop, an employee showed me how to screw in the cable to avoid constant breakdown. Super. Off we went…

Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacNovember 30, 2019Tunisia, Djerba

169 - Two If By Fiat Punto (Tunis, Tunisia)

HAN SOLO NO MORE. I met Leslie in cyberspace, so to speak. By some freak algorithmic anomaly, she found my blog online. And she liked it. She really liked it. Our correspondence escalated to friendship and then a mutual desire to put a three-dimensional face to the name. In a nutshell, she put her life on hold and forayed into the unknown. For better or worse, I believe my counsel pushed her across the Rubicon. Our chance encounter enriched my life immeasurably, as I hope it did hers. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

Her first stop was Istanbul, Turkey. She spent a month exploring the ‘bul and then the island of Bozcaada before we connected in Tunis…

Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacNovember 29, 2019Tunisia, Tunis

170 - Northern Tunisia And Mutton For Punishment

MANUAL TRANSMISSION? NO PROBLEM. OR IS IT? In ideal circumstances, my skills are passable, though the streets of Tunis are far from ideal. Between driving in a foreign country and nebulous road etiquette, I was a teensy bit anxious. I clenched my ass cheeks and rode into the breach. Tunis is madness from behind the wheel for those uninitiated. I’m sure rules exist but didn’t seem to apply from my precarious vantage point. Drive anywhere, walk anywhere, do anything, as long as you can get away with it. I only stalled the engine a few times on the way out of Tunis. Not killing pedestrians or totaling the Fiat Punto was an added bonus. Super…