156 - On A Whim With Grimm and Kim (Bremen, Germany)
156 - On A Whim With Grimm and Kim (Bremen, Germany)

I needed some psychological R&R. With a place to crash and a borrowed bicycle, I had free rein in this quaint city at the mouth of the Weser River. My chosen form of sloth was sipping coffee in Marktplatz to the tune of accordion/guitar street music while engaging in a favorite past-time: people watching. In between appointments at Starbucks (I justified my visits to this paradigm of American capitalistic globalism by free Wi-Fi), I did a bit of shopping (it was time for new Underoos) and some aimless cycling through the town center. Relaxation and rejuvenation. Thank you, sir, I’ll have another. The frequent rain did little to blunt my blissful existence. Kim’s prowess in the kitchen made for a delightful end-of-day punctuation, a delicious repast between friends…

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Germany, Batch 27by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacGermany, Bremen
157 - Cruising Berlin (Berlin, Germany)
157 - Cruising Berlin (Berlin, Germany)

Be who you want. Do what you want. Don't judge. Don't fret about being judged. Fascinating history. Well-maintained public areas. Plenty of attractions for Johnny Tourist and his clan. Exotic nightlife.

Still, one could get the sense Berlin is almost too cool for itself. A bit of xenophobia lurks in the shadows, which, I suppose, is unavoidable when folks from all over the world come to express their individualism. Throw a rock and, chances are, you won't hit a native Berliner. It was (is?) a city transforming itself, although no one seemed to know what it was transforming into.

On the subway, I saw a woman with the left side of her head sporting a short green hairdo, while the right sprouted a dreadlock Medusa-esque ensemble. Tattoos abounded, and if it was possible…

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Batch 27, Germanyby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacGermany, Berlin
158 - Holocaust Memorial Jamboree (Berlin, Germany)
158 - Holocaust Memorial Jamboree (Berlin, Germany)

No one else seemed to be on my wavelength, which led me to question the validity of my perception. Signs on the ground along the memorial’s edge did encourage quiet within the columns and cautioned visitors against leap-frogging the stelae. Security personnel reprimanded a few hoppers, but admonitions almost seemed half-hearted at best, related more to safety than respect. 

While sipping coffee at a rooftop café overlooking the memorial, I asked a waitress (from England) her opinion. My viewpoint never occurred to her. Another friend told me the “tombstone” interpretation is one of many. Sure, but it’s still a Holocaust memorial, right? I suppose it is in a public square open to all twenty-four hours a day, and…

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Batch 27, Germanyby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacMemorial to the Murdered Jews in Europe, Germany, Berlin, Holocaust
159 - Shrooming and Looming (Telc - Prague, Czech Republic)
159 - Shrooming and Looming (Telc - Prague, Czech Republic)

Want to love Prague? Stand on St. Charles Bridge at 6:30 a.m. on a clear morning. Want to hate Prague? Stand on St. Charles Bridge on a warm sunny day around noon. It felt a rock concert where the band’s a no-show, the general theme at all points of interest. After 10:00 a.m. you'll pretty much be dry-humping the person next to you while savoring the view. 

The “adventure factor” continued to wane the longer I loitered in Europe. I’d become sluggish and soft, unduly influenced by all that civilization and convenience. I didn’t have to carry around my own shit tickets (i.e. toilet paper), people generally understood what I said, and I was only bewildered 30% of the time…

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Czech Republic, Batch 28by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacCzech Republic, Prague, Telc
160 - Tunisia Timeline
160 - Tunisia Timeline

circa 1100 BC - Phoenicians settle the north African coast. The city of Carthage, near the site of present-day Tunis, becomes a naval power.

146 BC - Carthage falls to the Romans.

439 AD - Vandals invade; Roman buildings and artefacts are destroyed.

600s - Arabs conquer the territory of present-day Tunisia.

909 - Berbers wrest the region from the Arabs. 1600s - Tunisia becomes part of the Turkish Ottoman empire, but has a high degree of autonomy.

1800s - French and Turkish designs on Tunisia force it to tread a careful path…

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Tunisia, Batch 28by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia
161 - Suspicious Minds (Tunis, Tunisia)
161 - Suspicious Minds (Tunis, Tunisia)

I revived one of my favorite pastimes: talking to shifty-looking strangers on the street. Enter Rashid. I was in search of grub when he approached and struck up a conversation. One thing led to another, and he offered to chaperone me to a local haunt for some traditional Tunisian fare. And yes, I know it sounds sketchy, but there was little to fear in broad daylight with so many around.

Rashid brought me to a veritable hole in the wall and was kind enough to present me with some delicious Tunisian food (spaghetti with the signature chili paste, tomato/cucumber salad, and chicken). Not far into our conversation, my Spidey-sense began to tingle. He had some interesting body scars he was none too shy about showcasing.…

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Tunisia, Batch 28by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Tunis, Politics, Democracy
162 - Set It Off (Tunis, Tunisia)
162 - Set It Off (Tunis, Tunisia)

My next installment of “Talk to Random Strangers on the Street” took more than one comical turn. Enter Semy and his nephew. Not sure how it started, but before I knew it, I was discussing everything from motorcycle tires to Issac Hayes. Maintaining composure throughout deliciously random discussions punctuated in broken English was none too easy. I’ll make this as disjointed as possible out of respect for accuracy. 

Semy had an old motorcycle he wished to maintain, but couldn’t for lack of parts, specifically tires. He’d recently purchased one that didn’t cut the mustard. Why? Not the right model. And the only place he knew to find one? The good ole US of A. He asked me if I could…

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Tunisia, Batch 28by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Tunis, medina
163 - Pick Pockets, Zionist Plots, Saddam Hussein, & Ashraf (Tunis, Tunisia)
163 - Pick Pockets, Zionist Plots, Saddam Hussein, & Ashraf (Tunis, Tunisia)

My ancient cultural exploration put me in a pleasant mood, a mood smothered once I’d boarded a Tunis trolley car. A sardine can has nothing on the local tram system. People pack themselves inside like they’re trying to win a contest. My first attempt failed when it became a physical impossibility. You’d think, given the circumstances, I’d taken pains to secure my wallet (and by wallet, I mean a black paper binding clip). Nuh-uh. Somewhere in the scrum, a thieving assface purloined my minimalist wallet, which held my ATM card, credit card, driver's license, and more money than I should have been carrying. By the time I recognized my vulnerability, it was too late… poof! 

I couldn’t be sure where it happened, on the platform or the trolley. I remember right after snapping the photo below…

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Batch 28, Tunisiaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Tunis, Bardo Museum
164 - What Lies Beneath? (Tunis, Tunisia)
164 - What Lies Beneath? (Tunis, Tunisia)

I recognized the rich potential for mass dissent, but to say it was palpable in any sense in the course of my everyday dealings would be a massive stretch. Most tourists shuffling through the medina were blissfully unaware of the circumstances. Causal observation and light banter with the locals revealed nothing. No overt indications implied impending revolution. This held through the entirety of my two-month sojourn. Most of what I knew came via the internet. My research put me in a better position to notice bubbling unrest, but nothing stuck out. In fact, Tunis’ atmosphere was downright tranquil, bordering on sleepy at times. Ignorance is bliss, and I was all stocked up on it

I’d read about a worsening economy and high unemployment. (This put my pickpocket incident in context. Stories of desperate young men risking their lives…

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Batch 28, Tunisiaby Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, Mohamed Bouazizi, Arab Spring
165 - Jesus Incognito (Tunis, Tunisia)
165 - Jesus Incognito (Tunis, Tunisia)

Sooooooo… you’re allowed to be a non-Muslim. Muslims can convert, but it must be organic certified. Non-Muslims can practice their faith, but not allowed to proselytize. Non-Muslim foreigners can enter the country but not allowed to conduct missionary activities with those outside their faith. Gray areas and blurred lines, ya heard. See where I'm headed with this?

Ashraf, a Tunisian comrade I met via Couchsurfing.com, invited me to an English club established by a group of young Americans from Texas. The club’s professed aim was to accelerate a cultural exchange and give Tunisians studying English a chance to practice with native speakers. Super. The group met in a courtyard inside Tunis' medina.…

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Tunis, Christian Missionaries
166 - Sa-HA-ra! (Ksar Ghilane, Tunisia)
166 - Sa-HA-ra! (Ksar Ghilane, Tunisia)

We wanted more than a taste of the Sahara (pronounced “sa-HA-ra!” with a violent crotch grab). We wanted a heaping mouthful. Our fantasy was thus: An oasis tent camp surrounded by an ocean of dunes, simmering desert sunsets, peaceful star-filled nights, crackling campfires, and an inescapable feeling of desolation that would echo through our dreams. Perhaps a short camel diversion led by a desert-hardened Berber man with one eye and a scorpion forehead tattoo would be in the cards. Ever heard the expression “wish in one hand, shit in the other”? 

Rent a 4WD drive? Not a chance. Nobody was interested, though we found many a tour operator willing to charge the going rate…

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Sahara, Ksar Ghilane
167 - Jedi Living (Matmata, Tunisia)
167 - Jedi Living (Matmata, Tunisia)

The Berbers who settled this region took environmental adaptation to another level, constructing underground homes as an escape from the desert inferno. These dwellings resemble manicured bomb craters from above, and many are invisible from ground level until you’re right on them. Just outside Matmata, we stopped at one for tea and a look around. A certain “human zoo” atmosphere permeates the vibe, but it’s still worth a visit. Also, it provides a needed source of income for locals. 

If a visit won’t suffice, you can stay at one of many hotels built on the same design. You'd be a complete asshole not to. We bid a not-so-fond farewell to our driver …

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Matmata, Luke Skywalker, Star Wars, Hotel Sidi Driss
168 - Scooter Dreams (Djerba, Tunisia)
168 - Scooter Dreams (Djerba, Tunisia)

Negotiating was more cumbersome than normal. The problem? We were Americans. Full stop. Djerba has been so jaded by cash-flaunting tourists on short blowout vacations, any attempt at bargaining was seen as a clear insult. Merchants loved pointing out that prices are fixed in America. The fact Northern Africa and the whole of the Middle East are renowned for bargaining culture was lost on them. We were filthy rich and should’ve ceased being whiny little bitchbags. Touché.

After blast off, we didn't get far. My spark plug cable kept separating from the engine. Upon return to the shop, an employee showed me how to screw in the cable to avoid constant breakdown. Super. Off we went…

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Djerba
169 - Two If By Fiat Punto (Tunis, Tunisia)
169 - Two If By Fiat Punto (Tunis, Tunisia)

HAN SOLO NO MORE. I met Leslie in cyberspace, so to speak. By some freak algorithmic anomaly, she found my blog online. And she liked it. She really liked it. Our correspondence escalated to friendship and then a mutual desire to put a three-dimensional face to the name. In a nutshell, she put her life on hold and forayed into the unknown. For better or worse, I believe my counsel pushed her across the Rubicon. Our chance encounter enriched my life immeasurably, as I hope it did hers. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

Her first stop was Istanbul, Turkey. She spent a month exploring the ‘bul and then the island of Bozcaada before we connected in Tunis…

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTunisia, Tunis
170 - Northern Tunisia And Mutton For Punishment
170 - Northern Tunisia And Mutton For Punishment

MANUAL TRANSMISSION? NO PROBLEM. OR IS IT? In ideal circumstances, my skills are passable, though the streets of Tunis are far from ideal. Between driving in a foreign country and nebulous road etiquette, I was a teensy bit anxious. I clenched my ass cheeks and rode into the breach. Tunis is madness from behind the wheel for those uninitiated. I’m sure rules exist but didn’t seem to apply from my precarious vantage point. Drive anywhere, walk anywhere, do anything, as long as you can get away with it. I only stalled the engine a few times on the way out of Tunis. Not killing pedestrians or totaling the Fiat Punto was an added bonus. Super…

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Tunisia, Batch 29by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacBizerte, Ichkeul National Park, Cap Serrat Beach, Ain Draham, Royal Riyana, Bulla Regia, Tunisia, Chemtou
171 -Dougga & Hammam Mellegue (Northwest Tunisia)
171 -Dougga & Hammam Mellegue (Northwest Tunisia)

Come the morning, we mounted the Punto and set out for Doooo-GA, hailed as “the best preserved Roman small town in North Africa” by UNESCO. (It designated the area a World Heritage Site in 1997.) It was a highlight of my Tunisian sojourn, as “enchanting” as the Lonely Planet describes it. The weather was optimal (mild temperatures and a refreshing breeze), the panorama pleasing to behold, the tourist population tolerable (notwithstanding the large group of obstreperous Chinese tourists), and our archaeologist-guide was knowledgeable and coherent…

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Tunisia, Batch 30by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacDougga, Tunisia, swastika, Hammam Mellegue
172 - Jugurtha’s Table For Two (Ain Senan, Tunisia)
172 - Jugurtha’s Table For Two (Ain Senan, Tunisia)

Why the hubbub? We assumed it was related to the area's proximity to the Algerian border and illicit smuggling operations. This, coupled with a “tourist safety priority”, might explain Big Brother’s nose up our cabooses. I’m guessing the local authorities (national guard and police) were wary of two Americans wandering alone. If I were a secret agent, I’d have to admit a cute redhead and a Fiat Punto make for one hell of a disguise/cover story. Bond… James Bond.

“The Tableland is a geologic feature known as an inverted relief. Millions of years ago, the hard limestone top of the mesa was actually the bottom of a valley…

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Tunisia, Batch 30by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacJugurtha’s Table, Ain Senan, Tunisia, Sahara
173 - Tozeur - Chott El Djerid - Mos Epsa - Ong Jemel (Word Salad, Tunisia)
173 - Tozeur - Chott El Djerid - Mos Epsa - Ong Jemel (Word Salad, Tunisia)

“Frogger[a] is a 1981 arcade action game developed by Konami and manufactured by Sega. In North America, it was released by Sega/Gremlin. The object of the game is to direct a series of frogs to their homes by crossing a busy road and a hazardous river.” (Wikipedia)

You're not the frog. You’re the asshole the frog is trying (marginally, as it were) to avoid. There’s a shitload of frogs, a chaotic frenzy of frogs modulating both speed and direction in ways impossible to predict.

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Tunisia, Batch 30by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacTozeur, Chott El Djerid, Mos Epsa, Ong Jemel, Tunisia
174 - Hertz So Good (Chebika, Tamerza, and Mides - Tunisia)
174 - Hertz So Good (Chebika, Tamerza, and Mides - Tunisia)

Chebika, Tamerza, and Mides. What are three ancient Berber villages nestle inside mountain oases north of Tozeur? The original settlements were abandoned after torrential flooding in 1969. New villages were established nearby, but these are fairly modern and bland. I thought we might have to rely on Punto Power but the road is excellent all the way to Mides. 

First up: Chebika. We drove right past. The road through the palm grove seemed promising but the parking area outside the village looked like a used Land Crruiser sales lot. I estimated more tourists than palm trees. Buh-bye..

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Tunisia, Batch 30by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacChebika, Tamerza, Mides, Hertz, Tunisia
175 - Return To Ksar Ghilane (Sahara, Tunisia)
175 - Return To Ksar Ghilane (Sahara, Tunisia)

Following dinner, we spent the evening frolicking in the dunes under a waxing, wobbling moon. Enter two bottles of wine, two gin and tonics, and a smidgen of vodka. Wobbling moon, you say? I’m sure getting smashed was a factor, but that, combined with atmospheric idiosyncrasies, made the moon vibrate ever so in the black of night sky. It was fucking mesmerizing, made more so by passing clouds. I had to remind myself I hadn’t swallowed psychedelic mushrooms… had I?

And then there was the goddamn lightning. Off to the north, just above the horizon, was a silent, thunderless light show courtesy of Mother Nature. It was magnificent to behold…

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Tunisia, Batch 30by Mr. Nos T. O'maniacKsar Ghilane, Sahara, Tunisia